Depression
by A Typical Snarry Fan
Summary: Harry and Sev lost their chemistry. Still together, but there is not communication. No feelings. Can Harry save his relationship with his one true love or slink away in depression? HELP! Should I quit HP?


Summary: Harry and Sev lost their chemistry. Still together, but there is not communication. No feelings. Can Harry save his relationship with his one true love or slink away in depression?  
  
Notes: This is based on a horrible poem I wrote when I was thirteen.  
  
!```````````````!  
  
Chapter One: I have to leave him  
  
I sighed and curled up in my blankets. He wasn't coming to bed. Even though he didn't live with me anymore, I still had hope.  
  
God, I didn't know that it would hurt so much. It has been happening for over a month. Severus used to be this loving man but now... now he doesn't come to bed any more. He doesn't talk to me. The cold hard truth it that he obviously didn't love me.  
  
The clues were right in front of my face.  
  
The wrinkled robes, the scent that he seemed to have on him, the attitude in general. Those must be signs that he is with another.  
  
He doesn't come to bed. He stays out late every night. I guess I'm only here to give him his hang over potion.  
  
The bitter memories haunted my sleep, or what little sleep I had. I would think of the happier times. Times when he told me he loved me. He said he wouldn't leave me. He even asked me to marry him. I still have our engagement ring on my finger. I can't take it off even though /he/ has other plans.  
  
I tell myself every day that he doesn't need me. That I can be free to love someone that would actually love me back.  
  
I can't sleep without him. Do you know how it feels to be broken hearted? To feel that the one you love betrayed you? Boy, it is not fun.  
  
Hermione said that the children noticed that their DADA professor is acting different. Hermione said that I'm sinking into depression. Depression! Ha, I can live without him. He doesn't deserve me! I can't live without him... what am I thinking? I am depressed.  
  
He goes out on Saturday-every Saturday to only god knows where. I think he is drinking away the sorrow or whatever his problem is.  
  
I think I know why.  
  
I think he finally woke up. He woke up from this dream. He finally realised that he was making all these promises to a Potter. He is probably so embarrassed that he can't tell me to leave.  
  
I hate it, you know.  
  
Someday I'll leave him. I know I can't stand his cold shoulder. What had I done wrong? Was he just using me? Am I just a pawn in his game of chess?  
  
I told him everything.  
  
I have to leave him.  
  
*``````````*  
  
A staff meeting. Wonderful. He never sits by me. God, I can remember the first time we sat alone and apart from each other. He just did what a snape had to do and glared. I slunk back into the chair. From then on, I always sat by Hermy. She replaced Poppy after she retired after the war.  
  
The war was painful. I don't want to remember it, but people I cared for died. What was I to expect? This was a bloody war, not some Girl Scout thing.  
  
Yes, I think that Girl Scouts are American, but Sev (when he still loved me) and I went to New York City. We have actually been together for about five years.  
  
A soft knock on the door interrupts my thoughts. Half of me wants to hope that it would be Sev...  
  
Hermione popped her head in. Again, I feel depressed and rejected.  
  
She must have noticed my mood change and she sat on my cold empty bed. Well, I was sitting on it but that doesn't matter.  
  
"Harry, you missed that staff meeting again." She said softly.  
  
"Oh..." I hadn't realised that I did.  
  
"Is it because you miss Snape?"  
  
I sigh. She does this twice a week. Moving out of Sev's chambers was the hardest thing I have ever done.  
  
"Harry... you are not well."  
  
I bury my head in my hands. First she thinks I'm depressed (no comment) and now she thinks I'm mental.  
  
I don't say anything and I wait for her annoyed sigh as she slammed the door.  
  
I don't know what to do now.  
  
*``````````*  
  
Ok, this is short cos I wanna know what you guys think. Should I steer clear of HP and stay with the Elves? Should I continue? Please as the Beatles say, "Help!"  
  
8 


End file.
